Facing my thoughts and seeing myself from the outside in and the inside out at the same time. I am able to see the way people perceive me by the things I say and do. Now it’s important for me to learn this new ideal and image I have of myself and look where I am today. This time last year I was at the “Disco Loco” festival in Springfield, London and was half way through raising money for my new album. Now the festival is on again today and as I am sitting and watching the new young bands perform (and some old weird ones) I can sit here and proudly say that I’ve recorded my album. It’s finished and I’m rebuilding my website and launching NATG in 2 and 1/2 weeks. Not only have I discovered that I’m a writer and but I am now on a bigger mission and it was this album that initiated the spark.
Throughout the year the main obstacles that came up for me were both trust and fear. Who was just in this for the money? Who was in it for their ego? And who was in this for love? When people do things just for money alone, they say and do stupid things that don’t make sense and make you believe their nonsense. “This project has too much anxiety around it, so therefore I need to charge you the full £10K to mix your album” … ok but that’s the whole amount that I raised!!! Now this is not ALL people. I discovered through the process that there were trustworthy people around me too. The ones I least expected. I find it really hard to trust people in the music industry. Being female as well. I always wonder what their motives are.
So I am sitting here a year later, with my bank balance still the same, but I can now say that I have an album, I have funded a pre album tour (which was in January), cleaned out all my old things that don’t serve me anymore and I shipped all the things that do serve me, back to my home town, in Melbourne. I’ve reconnected with my family. I’ve said goodbye to lost loves. I’ve met some amazing new and inspiring people and I’ve learnt that it’s ok to be a bit nuts! I’ve accomplished the things I wanted to with my music and the album that I NEVER GOT TO MAKE with my old music label and I can happily say that this is MY work, MY music, MY arrangements and it’s done – finito and I can now close this chapter of my life. I can forgive myself for the mistakes I made along the way. I can honestly say, that this is a terrifying moment for me as much as it is exciting, it’s scary. I was told I couldn’t do it, 10 years ago and it’s taken me this long to work up the courage and the confidents to now release this music. These are the chapters to my life whilst on the journey to get it the album completed – I never thought about radio play or the money I just wrote from the heart. I will continue to write the SOUNDTRACK to my life for as long as I live. I am proud of the fact that it doesn’t fit into a box. I proud that is has many different genres and that you can’t really label me. I am proud that I had the balls to do this! AMEN. NAMESTE.
I would like to thank everyone who has come along for the ride!!! Phundee, Ashon Spooner, Caroline Gangmark, Nitin Sawhney, Chris Norris, Darren Poole, Joe Robinson, Dharmin, Kesia, The team at Google, all the people who funded ‘The Real Journey’ which has now become ‘Pictures of Mars’. I’d like to thank my best friend Monika, Mark Watson, Beatrice, Lawrence, Elise, Eddie, Conrad, My Mum and Morris, My Dad and Dena, My brother and Mel, My sister and my new brother in law Dan, I’d like to thank Theo, Emma, Danny, My Nonna and Nonno, My Zia and Zio, Gen, Mel and Nadia and a very special thank you to Dave McLaughlin and my band, Jeremy Diffey, Cory Jach… you have made me stronger and all stood by me this whole time and kept on believing in me!!!